Have you had a day where you just can't seem to get moving no matter how much coffee you drink? Have you watched your child overreact to every question you ask? The arousal states you and your child have are perfectly normal. Arousal states are part of every day life! But every one of us has to monitor our arousal states daily to be effective with our time. As a parent you also monitor your child's arousal states so that you can help them regulate as well.
So, first let's talk about what arousal states are...
Most of us spend time in what we call our "window of tolerance." This is where we are able to connect and feel safe. People in this state are calm, alert, relaxed, and aware. I'm sure you've already guessed, but this is the state where learning can take place. Now just like an actual window, the size of our tolerance on any given day can be bigger or more open, allowing us to cope with more hiccups, or smaller/closed, where small annoyances tip us into another state more easily.
Above and below the window of tolerance we have hyper-arousal and hypo-arousal.
Hyper-arousal is when your child feels overwhelmed, anxious or aggressive. They may be rigid, impulsive, compulsive, chaotic or your child may have an outburst. This is at times called "over aroused."
Hypo-arousal happens when we shut down, feel flat, or are unable to think. Your child may not appear present, get lethargic or have some memory loss. Often, this can be referred to as "under-aroused."
Now from the description of hyper- or hypo-arousal, what can you guess about your child's openness to learning? That's right: they're not ready when they are in these states!! In order to help them get to their window of tolerance, you'll want to figure out some strategies to help them regulate whether they are hyper- or hypo-aroused.
Just remember it is normal, natural and part of the human experience to exhibit all of the arousal states at some point. If there is an excess of hyper- or hypo-arousal, that may be telling you that you need to seek a professional for your child, and we can highly recommend the Occupational Services at Collaborative Partnerships.
As part of our G-ESDM fidelity, one item is to effectively monitor arousal. If a child is over or under aroused, the practitioner is there to assist the child to regulate so that learning can occur. At times, the therapeutic goal may just be focused on arousal or regulation if your child is having an "off" day as the skill to learn to regulate is important for your child as they grow.
So what are some things that you can do to help your child regulate? Well, that really depends on your child, and it might take some trial and error to figure out. Essentially when your child is over-aroused, you would find activities that are calming and soothing, and if they are under-aroused, you would find activities that excite or move them around to get them going again. Think of how to tap into the 5 senses for this!
Some over-aroused techniques could be:
- Playing or sing soft music/songs - Breathing slowly (like mountain or square breathing)
- Lower the lights - Slow, rhythmic movement such as rocking chair or swing
- Decrease your volume or stop speaking entirely
- Reading books
Some under-arousal techniques could be:
- Spinning or running - Energetic songs with lots of movement
- Lights on - Interesting/stimulating toys
- Drinking cold water - Bouncing a ball
These are just a few suggestions, and what works for your child may vary, like you may find that bouncing a ball helps to calm your child rather than to bring their energy up. Every child is different, so find what works for them! What are some things that you've found that work for your child?
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