Almost every parent that I meet has a question about managing behaviours of concern, and the child doesn’t have autism. Yes, EVERY child will have challenging behaviour at some time, but what that looks like will vary. The short answer to managing that behaviour is that it will depend! Each child is different and the reasons for displaying a behaviour of concern also changes from child to child! Let’s get into some information that will help adults to understand a bit more.
First off, there are 4 reasons that behaviours of concern occur, sometimes professionals call them the “function” of a behaviour. Kids will have behaviours of concern:
1. To get something they want, like a favourite food, activity or toy
2. To get someone’s attention (note: getting scolded or lectured is attention too! So, if you say “don’t hit.” It’s the same as saying “Yay! Hit more!!”)
3. To get out of, avoid, or delay something they don’t like
4. And sometimes it’s because the behaviour is really enjoyable or helps them calm.
There are some things that also influence behaviour:
- Times of day
- Specific places
- Specific activities
- Certain people
- How your child is feeling: hungry/tired/sick
These things can all play a role, and it’s important to pay attention to see if there are commonalities when behaviours of concern do happen.
Once we have all of this information, we start to look for triggers. Triggers are the things that come right before a behaviour. There could be a build-up throughout the day and then a “trigger” to tipping your child over the edge. Or there could be a “trigger” that happens almost every time your child experiences it.
Then we look at the consequence, or the thing that comes after the behaviour. What did your child avoid or get from performing the behaviour? Did it delay an activity or was it to get something they wanted? This will be what is making the behaviour of concern more likely to happen in the future.
Now use this information to guess why your child is doing the behaviour of concern. What are they “saying?” The message could be as simple as “apple,” meaning I want an apple, or it could be more complex like, “this task is too hard!”
Once you have the message, then you should teach your child a different way to communicate that message. If they are non-verbal, you might teach them to use a gesture or an AAC device. If they are verbal then you can teach them a word to use to get their needs met. In either instance, you’ll need to prompt the new communication first and then deliver on what the child wants (obviously don’t do this if it’s dangerous). Do this each and every time they use the new communication, so they understand WHAT they can do to get their needs met. Once your child is clear on what message to send to you, you can start to reduce your support so that you can increase their independence!
NOTE: Any change in behaviour takes time and repetition! We need to rework how to get needs met, and you can only do that through learning. Be patient and take it one step at a time!
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